There are many parents who once knew their son to be open and willing to talk, but as he became a teenager his personality changed. Confused by his blatant disregard, a lot of parents may feel disconnected or rejected by their sons because of how they act.
Some parents are saying …
“My son is a block of ice!”
“He is acting so disrespectful! I can’t take it.”
“I’m so confused. Nothing works. Everything I do seems to make him mad. I feel like telling him to snap out of it and grow up!”
Another parent says … “Every day after school, my son comes home, throws his stuff on the ground and goes into his room, closes the door and plays video games. Doesn’t he want to do something else or tell me about his day? My attempts to talk to him haven’t gotten anywhere. He gets mad and storms off. What do I do?”
The feeling of giving up is very tempting. Avoiding your son because of how he acts or responding back in anger won’t work. Believe it or not, it is always better to let your son know you are there for him. If your son isn’t ready to open up or is closed off in the moment, be patient and let him know you are there to talk when he is ready. I think it is important for parents to stand by their sons and say…
“You may be upset with me right now but I love you. I’m here for you! Let me know when you’re ready to talk”
Realize the risks of giving up on your son are far too great: Violence, crime, depression, dependence on drugs, repression of oneself and more. Separating from your son rather than connecting or supporting him as he creates his own identity can cause him to hide his feelings. This can be a reason of why he has a hard time opening up or takes risks with sex, alcohol and drugs. Some boys use drugs excessively or have sex with multiple partners in an attempt to escape or relieve the confusion of being a teenager, rebelling against the “boy code” and how boys should act or what is or isn’t masculine.
All teenagers go through the stage where they individuate and evolve into their own identities. It is an important time where they learn about and discover themselves. But it is more important for parents to respect and understand this phase of their life, creating a safe place to grow and letting them know they’re always welcome at home.
Help your teenage son become a happy and successful young man by providing love, safety, and connection at home. Also remember even the most experienced and competent parents can’t be everything to their children. Find help if needed. It takes a community of people to raise a teenage son.