While plenty of married couples postpone going to therapy for their marital woes, professional counseling could really offer unique opportunities for couples to evaluate their conflicts through a problem-solving strategy that could help strengthen their relationship instead of letting issues simmer and become full-fledged problems later on.
When considering therapy, keep in mind that you and your spouse will have to answer various questions and that these will be more specific when working through a particular issue or situation. So that you have some idea of what to expect during a session, below are the most common questions you’ll encounter.
1. Why did you decide to go to therapy?
You have to be 100% honest with yourself, your spouse, and your therapist about your reasons for going to therapy. Common reasons typically include emotional distance, communication, physical intimacy, personality differences, infidelity, finances, child discipline, problems with close relatives, career concerns, addictive behaviors, and acute or chronic illness, notes a renowned marriage counseling therapist in Broomfield.
2. Which of your concerns are the most crucial?
Many couples often fight for years over countless issues without realizing what’s specifically causing their squabbles or which issues they really need to work on. Your therapist could help you and your spouse sort through all of your issues and assign a priority to each one in order that you could deal with in the most honest and constructive way.
Initially, you’ll probably disagree with your spouse about the least or most significant issues. But as you go through therapy, your therapist will give you and your spouse a chance to air your views in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.
3. What are you willing to change?
After hashing out all of your issues, your therapist will ask both of you to suggest an appropriate change in your behavior in order to improve your relationship. If your spouse is keen on going out four times a week with his friends, he might, for instance, cut back his partying to two times a week.
Changes such as these, as inconsequential as they may seem, signal a drive and willingness to improve on oneself in order to make a marital relationship work and lead to more significant changes for the better. Your attitude more than anything would be immensely critical in determining whether or not you two can truly work on your marriage or not.
It’s also extremely vital to note that in order for marriage counseling to really work, you need to be completely honest with your feelings, behaviors, attitudes, and expectations. If you or your spouse fails to tell all parties involved the truth, you won’t be able to resolve your issues so your marital relationship will continue to suffer, and in time, get worse.
Just think about this, there’s really no point in going to therapy and wasting time and money to discuss your relationship with a therapist if your or your spouse won’t answer truthfully and take accountability for your actions. That said, marriage counseling will only work if you and your spouse are 100% open to the experience.